humanity and gratitude

Six: Gratitude, humanity and other virtues

These things were taught to us from our parents, schools, and the immense treasure of books and songs that I came in contact through out my growing age and later years.

We have been brought up in a very humble manner, a lot of money was spent on our mental and spiritual development but in case of physical luxuries only the necessary spending was done.

From very childhood when we used to complain for things which others have our parents used to ask her to take a peek in the homes of the gangmans and see the hardships their children face. Hence from very childhood we learnt to concentrate on our privilleges, not our drawbacks. We learnt that hunger is a never ending cycle. Blessed are those who relish whatever is on their plate. Every time I feel a little bored with what is in my plate, that is my life, I feel about those who are deprived from even that. It does not makes me arrogant, it makes me humble, thankful to God. I feel blessed for every thing which I have, and the content from that.

We were taught to always share with others, to help those who are weak in study or other things. Later I gathered one big truth, if we share with others, they may not give us the return personally, or may not be grateful but someone else takes the count and returns. I still remember my college days, I was juggling too many things together, yet I studied as much as I could and I always shared my notes with my close friends, without least hesitation. We all studied with the same notes, I don’t know whether they read mine or not, but I gave it to them any way, but when the results came out I was extremely happy with mine. I secured fourth place among more than 250 students of morning section with a big, non scoring subject like economics. I some how deeply believe that if we help others without any expectation God rewards us, because we don’t even expect her rewards. But she rewards any way.

Truthfulness is another thing which has helped me throughout my life, we have been taught from the very childhood to practice it, even though I was too timid to practice it in my childhood, I used to lie my heads off, but after I grew up, I slowly took the side of truth and stayed with it. But I have a policy, which I don’t regret, I strongly believe that only my well wishers deserve a truth from me. People with the most harmful intention are usually the most prying ones, and if we give out our truths to them, they will use it against us at the first chance, so one should be truthful to those who deserve it. To others they can do whatever they want.

Taking consequences of my own action without cursing myself. This is a habit since childhood. I always practice discipline, and when I break that I don’t complain with the consequences. Instead of that I openly admit that I have made a mistake and am paying the price. Whatever the mistake is. I never shove it down the carpet hoping others will not notice, some one or else will sure drag it out by the least visible portion and then I may have to dive for the carpet. So my policy is if I stumble I will tell it. I am a human being, so its but normal that I will stumble. I am not going to kill myself for that. I will just get up and walk again, but wont hide the truth that I fell down so that others may learn the lesson.

There are many other virtues, which we ourselve have to decide, which are best for us. I pointed out only four of them, which mean a lot to me.

Discipline and manners

Five: Discipline and manners

We have been taught these things in an age when we were not even aware of our human existence I presume. Because I have been aware of these two things since my early childhood, but I never heard my parents telling us these things.

We knew that we will have to get out of bed at our own, clean the bed, brush our teeth, pack our school bags and leave for school. Leaving a neat and clean room behind.

When we are at any one else’s home, we will not disturb any thing, wont ask for any thing even if it’s a piece of heaven, wont touch a single thing without permission.

These small manners, and disciplines help us through out our life. I personally very strongly believe that discipline and manners taught from the family builts up the citizen.

We belong to different social standards, and we mix and mingle with people of different standards, so if we are taught from the childhood that we should not touch any thing which is not our, we learn to control greed, and slowly it moves out of our system.

If we practice to speak in a low volume, in a decent manner, we become more compatible to others.

If we learn to take care of our personal hygiene from very childhood it becomes a life long habit. But the parents should be looking over this portion, whether or not the child is doing it properly.

If we learn from the childhood to clean the mess we have created that will be a lesson to be treasured through out our live. That spares us from the habits of shoving dirt under carpet or leaving a messy place.

These small disciplines and manners, if taught from the very childhood become a part of one’s personality. It becomes a lot easier for the child when he grows up and enters the real world. He does not have to undergo drastical changes to fit the real world. Instead of that, he just have to undergo some minor changes to fit in.

Learning discipline and manners does not means one’s childhood is hampered, I can bet with anyone and everyone that the immense liberty and joy which I derived from that liberty is rarely enjoyed by any one. I was as free as a wild bird, after performing my duties, the discipline and manners only enhanced that joy. Because I knew my limits.

This combination of manners and independence made the foundations of a life which is extremely satisfactory and a personality which is ready and eager to face all types of challenge of life.

simple tricks

Three : Simple mechanical fixing etc

I really lament the lack of this knowledge, when I was in my teenage I have often searched for such institutes which provide crash courses on electronics, carpentry, fixing of household gadgets etc in my small town. It came ten years later, but by that time I was fully engrossed in my career.

But that’s not the scenario any more, now even small towns have such facilities, so if children are enrolled in such courses during summer vacations, they make them far more complete as a human being. It enhances their skills, their self confidence and their capacity to handle trivial problems. In today’s world both boys and girls go out of their family home at young age, and sometimes they live in far away cities alone, so, they have to play the role of both.. the man and woman in their bachelor’s den, these tricks will become too handy for them then.
Not only that, these small skills like a crash course in painting, beautician, doll making, carpentary, electricals, electronics can boost up one’s self satisfaction level to a great limit.

I have always pursued multiple things in life, even though I am not talented but I have tried my hands on writing, painting, singing, guitar etc. Small town environment did not gave me much chance to pursue my fascinations but whatever expertise I gathered I relish it till now. I am a home manager, my hobbies are giving me immense joy and happiness. And I can understand another big truth, that if I had the chance of learning every thing I wanted to learn starting from beautician to doll making, I would have easily earned a hefty pocket money straight from home.

Learning only the materials supplied by school, college and university does not makes a complete human being. We have a life outside our career. To fully develop ourselve as satisfied human beings we should concentrate on our inner self, and try to learn things which will make us more complete and happy.

One should be careful about one thing only, that these hobbies don’t hamper his main career or studies related to that, these should be treated as only hobbies, and he should fix time for these, a fixed time capsule during which he will be doing all of these, and should not cross that time limit. That will teach him putting priority before enjoyment. A big lesson in self control.

That lesson will be proved handy time and time again during his career, when he will have to select between the boring special class after office and date with girl friend.

a must knowledge

TWO : Knowledge against pedophile:

Almost every day these repulsive news are dished out in media, we all read it, but very rare parents take the necessary actions.


This is one thing Indian parents never share with children and as a result these innocents have to go through hell. Our society does not permits us to discuss every thing with our parents and vice versa. Its not that these parents don’t care about the well being of their children, its just that average indian is too shy in these cases. But being shy can be fatal for the children or worse.Children don’t deserve this, so as an adult its our duty to save them from these things. We cant depend on schools, because the teachers don’t have that much intimacy of thoughts with children, they are usually professional beings, out to earn their bread.


I personally believe every mother should make it her duty to well inform her child about these mentally deranged species, who look and act like human beings but are not. Because the way a mother can care for her child, or the mental intimacy she has with them hardly tallies with any one else. They should clearly train their children, to distinguish different types of touches, and how far can any one go before the child complains to you. Every parent should have a friendly relationship with children, which will encourage him or her to share any thing uncomfortable happening with him or her with you. The mental barrier between your children and you should be completely eliminated. They should feel free to discuss with you everything under the sky.


But don’t count on only that, keep a caring eye on his or her behaviour. Because abused children don’t act normally. They are either suffering from immense guilt conscience, rage, pain or fear.


Its not a thing to be taken lightly, if you will read the surveys it will give you shock, that how some people who look like human beings fail to act like them. So with the present state of society and law and order, its our duty to take care of our children. In place of having blind faith on others that they will protect or teach our children, it should be done by us.

Having faith is essence of happy life but having blind faith on others is often the gateway to hell. As the children are your piece of heart, you should be the one who will be taking care of him. Its better to take the step before its too late.

Gardening or keeping a pet

There are a few things which Indian parents often forget to teach the children, and as a result they are either deprived from some great joys or suffer dearly. I have jotted down six of them, and have distributed them in four posts. Even though I don’t and wont have a child of my own, but thought about sharing it with parents:

Four. Gardening or keeping a pet:

Quite contrary to us, who were brought up in a family where only one of the spouses went out for job, most of the children today are brought up in a family where both of their parents are either stuck up in full time jobs, or one of them is stuck up in a full time job and the other is busy playing the role of both.

The children too are too busy in their own life, the journey to and fro the school, the tutions and other activities consume half of the life force and time. In such a hectic and mechanical world, a little garden or a pet can give a child lot of happiness. It will give him the joy of creation, and the sense of responsibility.

But one have to be clear about one thing, if a child keeps a pet he will be the one who will be taking care of him or her, ofcourse under the parent’s supervision. I remember when I was a child my father always used to have a huge garden and a pair of dogs. Those dogs naturally gave birth to puppies, and he used to allow my older siblings to adopt them and take care of them. They were just teenagers then, yet they did it quite expertly. By taking care meant feeding, giving water, brushing, vaccinating every thing. I still remember that both of the dogs which they brought up were quite cute and they even taught them some simple tricks of obedience. Even though its not possible for me to say whether my father supervised.

Apart from pets they each were handed over a piece of land in the garden and asked to plant whatever they wanted in it. My father and mother, both were wonderful gardeners themselves, atleast that’s what I think, never interfered in their small gardens. Only my eldermost brother was my father’s assistant. They used to work on the remaining garden when he was back home from dispensary, or when he was away to the dispensary. One thing should be kept in mind, if a child is going to have a garden he will be tending it, under the guidelines of parents of course.

As I have done both of the things in my childhood and since then, believe me, it helps to grow a lot. If you know that some living thing is dependent on you, your sense of responsibility increases. You just cant flunk this duty, you have to perform it. And when your hard work brings result, the immense happiness which follows can be felt by only those who have done it and received it.

These things bring out the finer side of human nature, love, care, responsibility, dedication and the sense of duty toward other living beings. Which works as a foundation for better life.