appreciating own company

People often get scared by this thought, spending time with oneself. But if we think thoroughly, is there any person in this world who is absolutely out of human touch? Unless he lives in some god forbidden place.

 

We always have so many things around us which keep us directly or indirectly connected to others..phone, television, radio, internet, books, movies….

 

I am not asking anyone to confine himself or herself to rooms and live a lonely life against will. My opinion is in today’s busy world if we are forced a life where we don’t have much company or no company at all then enjoy that solitude.

 

People of younger age are more vulnerable to this feeling, I too have been once. I lived away for a year in a state where nothing was common to west bengal, and only handcounted relatives. So I used to spend my free time roaming around the roads in my sunny or licking the brain of a tenant of the same house.

 

But slowly I made a habit of staying alone, I saw people will raise their eyebrow in both cases and pass remarks, but in the second condition, that is my present way of life, I will have full control on my time, my life and I will never feel like a fool when I will look back at it.

 

I utilize my time with myself by  listening to music, writing, reading or working. There are too many productive hobbies we can take up. But I always take up a hobby to enjoy, not to toil on. They always leave me refreshed, looking forward to do it again. We should always select hobbies which wil leave us a better person, and enhance our capacity as a human being.

A little promise to myself

In this world of pain and betrayal not to lose my heart and spirit if my expression of love, respect and trust is misinterpreted

 

Instead of getting hurt making my heart and soul strong enough to radiate these feelings irrespective of the responses.

 

People get so much hurt because of their innocent nature that they flinch at every hand stretched at them.

 

I promise myself to be nonchalant toward their reaction as much as I can, and keep my heart and soul full of affection, respect and love for as many fellow human beings as possible.

 

We can never know why a person bites the hand that feeds him, may be someone has misused his gratitude in the past one too many times. Or may be his past is so dark that he cant see light in human beings. I should try not to judge his actions, in place of that I should let his rudeness trickle down my soul like a drop of water trickles down the leaf to grass, without leaving behind a scar.

 

In place of expecting rewards from human beings I should hope that God, who sees it all, blesses me with more chances of serving his children happily.

Cherished

Feeling of being cherished… this is what most of the average human beings look forward to. Just look inside your soul, you will notice this truth.

 

We fall in love to be cherished by a person we admire, we make a friend because we cherish his company and hope that he does the same.

 

Even though my friends often contradict on this point with me, they often say that love, affection should be unselfish. One should not expect any thing from a friend etc etc. I don’t know whether they can really follow these in real life or they just say it to make themselves look good I have completely failed in judging the truth in their point of view, because I have often observed that these people demand the maximum amount of obedience from their mates. Not only that, I have seen that only noncommittal people say these things. So, their words and actions conflict. I personally believe that people who are committed will always expect or hope for commitment from their object of affection or love. As they are giving out their best why shall they compromise for some thing less?

 

They don’t have any confusion about their intention, they know it very well and clear that they will love and cherish their partner till the end, if every thing moves the way it is moving now, so, why shall they not expect the very same in return?

 

Even if we observe animals we will see when they are together, if one of them licks the other, or preens the other the second one too starts doing the same, if not the first one nudges its mate, and if it is unresponsive he also stops. That means it’s a basic instinct to expect love in return of love. There is nothing to feel guilty in it.

 

I have once read a poem, I have forgotten the name of the poet but that poem left an everlasting impact on  my mind, it said some thing like … if you love me don’t be silent, tell me now, because there will be enough silence once I am in my grave… I too believe that, we are blessed with only one life, hence why not spend it sharing affection and warmth? Giving love and having it in return. If the object of our affection does not feels affectionate towards us why shall we not move on and look for some one who will feel affectionate towards us? This is one question I have always pondered on, and have decided after becoming worldly wise that we should move on. Because to get love one must love. Its better to share love than waste one’s life with an unloving, uncaring person and regret later.

Aging with grace

Aging is a process which is often looked at with dismay, a feeling of nostalgia. I feel quite the other way round. I think that aging has its own glory, own merits and advantages.

 

We can look at it with an era of enjoying our inner strengths which is compensated for the outer glamour and strength we lose in aging process.

 

I will cite my favourite four, first one is forgiving oneself. After crossing thirty I have seen a strange transformation in myself, if it has been an ongoing process then it was too subtle to notice. I suddenly noticed that I have become sweet to myself regarding my own faults. I easily forgive myself for forgetting important things, making serious mistakes. Things for which I used to scowl at myself don’t even cause a frown. Instead, I gently remind myself that to err is human, and smile. Now this forgiving tendency is not toward my own faults only, it has proportionately increased for faults of others too. I was always lot more forgiving to others than I was to myself, now it has increased even more.

 

Second one is accepting my physical defects and appearance cheerfully. Before crossing thirty if some one told me that I am too skinny, or questioned about any other defects of mine I used to fume for days. Now it has slashed down, unless that person is too rude I often laugh it away with him or her. Ten years ago walking out of home meant I had to take care of lot of things, my looks, my dress and much more. Now all I concentrate is on casting an impression of cleanliness, that’s it. I don’t care of assumptions of people any more. I can travel half way to the other end of kolkata dressed up casually. Same thing is applied to others, I never judged people by their dress or appearance though, now it has become even more lenient.

 

Third one is enjoying today, without sobbing for yesterday or pining for a golden tomorrow. To be content and thankful for what I am now. That does not means that I have stopped working for tomorrow,but unlike my pre thirty time, now I have started to relish today, learning from yesterday and working toward tomorrow. But treating today as last day of my life, which it can be. So never losing the chance to make some one smile.

 

Fourth one is my favourite one, loving without expecting and desire to own the beloved. A thing which I thought is impossible for a passionate person like me. Now with wisdom controlling passion I have realized the greatest truth, happiness of a loving heart lies in the happiness of the beloved. Earlier I used to take all, possible attempts to stay in the heart of my loved ones, but now the process has become exactly opposite. Now I try my level best to go only that far after which I may lose my loved one from my heart.